Was Prince Executed by the Beer Illuminati?


The death of Prince, the mighty purple warrior of music, on April 21, 2016, begs us to ask the questions “Who Killed Prince?” and “Why?” We’ll let you decide the answer.

At this point, the results of the purple autopsy are not yet in, so we don’t know exactly what happened, and once those results are in, we will assuredly not believe them, since they come from a corrupt authority, controlled by the powers of alcohol. It won’t be questioned when they take several weeks to release a report they could have written in a few days, the customary delay required to formulate a plausible cover story, have it approved by the Beer Overlords, and then plant whatever evidence is required to make it believable.

First, let’s go over the three reasons why they wanted him dead.

  1. He didn’t drink beer.
  1. We was a Jehovah’s Witness
  1. They couldn’t control him.

Have you ever seen Prince drinking a beer? Neither have we.  We couldn’t even find a photo of him drinking beer on the internet.  How likely is that?  A huge rock star that doesn’t consume alcohol, who hasn’t been through rehab, who doesn’t use beer sponsors to pay for touring?  

Not only is that unheard of, but it sets a bad precedent and sets him up as a role model for possibly dozens of impressionable youngsters to not drink beer when they grow up.

Now, while Prince was under contract to the big record labels, this was not a problem, as they could control him and his promotional images on behalf of their Beer Overlords. But since he had, after great effort and expense, extricated himself from the corrupt record industry, he had become independent, uncontrollable, and in their eyes, dangerous.

It was well known that he was a Jehovah’s Witness and those guys aren’t allowed to drink beer.  We are amazed that they haven’t been completely wiped out by the Illuminati (who are in cahoots with the Beer Overlords).  Our theory is that the entire Seventh Day Adventist movement was created by the Illuminati as either an alternative experimental means of mass control or possibly just a cruel joke. Either way, a rogue rock star being seen in public without alcohol, was more than enough reason for the Global Beer Industrial Complex to have him killed.

Our guess is that the “official” autopsy results will show that he died as a result of some kind of illegal drug use, thus discrediting his entire lifetime of work.