The Corona Virus Conspiracy

image of coronavirus
image of coronavirus

We’ve been silent on the Corona Virus topic for too long. The ridiculous suggestion that the virus was named after the beer or has anything to do with the beer is still beneath our dignity to even mention. (Oops!)

But now they’ve closed the bars!

Maybe not in every state, but in quite a few from New York to California and many in between. We’re all staying at home to prevent spreading the disease. The bars are closed, the music venues are closed, the salons are closed, even the darn coffee shops are closed.

In Colorado, they even tried to close the liquor stores and dispensaries. That lasted about 2 hours before they backtracked, allowing them to stay open as long as they enforced appropriate social distancing.

Where’s the conspiracy?  

It’s not the Chinese. If it was, do you think they would have alerted the whole world that it was coming? Nope.

Could it be a secret US government plot to destabilize China? Maybe. It’s just stupid enough for the Cheeto in chief to approve of. (and remember that he is a teetotaller)

Was it intentionally released so that Big Pharma (and Bill Gates) could make money on a vaccine? Big P does seem a lot brighter than most governments, but if this was the case, they would certainly be flooding the markets with vaccines by now. A huge opportunity for profit is being missed here.  So, probably not the case. Bill Gates has more important things to do, though he did pretty accurately predict this pandemic in 2018.

Let’s follow the money. Or, in this case, the lack of money.

Who’s losing money?  Ok, everyone… But amongst those would be the Beer Overlords. The entirety of the global Beer Industrial Complex is taking it in the shorts.

Who wants to put the beer industry out of business? Trump? The Mormons? MADD?  Maybe it’s God.

We don’t know. How should we know? Maybe it’s the aliens who want us to buy their interstellar brews instead.

All we know is it’s hurting everyone. From the beer manufacturers, the distributors, and the vendors to the bartenders, servers, and drinkers.

What can you do about it?

Stay Home. Wash your hands. Drink some beer and video chat with your buddies. Hide out until this is done. With the policies coming out of Washington, you can be certain they have decided to let all of us get infected. 2% of us will die from it, but that doesn’t mean anything to those in power.  So long as they get a few more tax breaks and we get back to work, they won’t mind if 2% of us suffer a painful, horrible death.

Man, I need a beer.  Here’s hoping that alcohol will kill this shit.