It’s come to our attention that Hillary Clinton, in pursuit of the White House, has been drinking a lot of beer. Mostly micro-brews. As she tours the country begging for votes, she has been stopping by brewpubs and small breweries to get photographed drinking or pouring beer. We’re happy she is doing this because it’s good publicity for the brewers. but we wonder how this all plays into the overall greater Beer Conspiracy. As a member of the Illuminati/Global Beer Industrial Complex/ Glitterati/ Beer Overlords/Whatever group, she clearly has been trying to win us over with… beer.
And she’s not alone. All the candidates have been at it. Clearly, the Beer Overlords have decreed that it’s time for politicians to stop hiding their beer drinking and start drinking in public like the rest of us. Or maybe that’s their clever plan. If we see them acting like regular beer-drinking citizens maybe we’ll think they are regular beer-drinking people instead of the puppets of New Beer Order who think they are better than the rest of us beer-swilling bums. Maybe they prefer to drink wine. And you know, you can’t really trust a wino.