There Is No Hatred in Beer

beer party
beer party

In light of recent events, we feel it’s important to let you all know that the Beer conspiracy is not racist. The Global Beer Industrial Complex, on which we report, is primarily a financial conspiracy. They want everyone to drink beer, wine, and/or liquor and pay for the privilege of doing so. After a few drinks, they expect you to have fun, make bad decisions, and drink some more. If they were racist in any way, they would be alienating a significant portion of the market. They even like those folks who don’t drink (most of them, anyway) because you never know when they might fall, jump, or be pushed off the proverbial wagon.

Drinking beer is usually part of a social event. Nothing brings people together better than a tasty beer, a bottle of wine, or a round of shots delivered on an old ski. People who think that their skin color, religion, or sexual orientation makes them superior to anyone else are simply wrong and for them to even think that, much less shout it in public is abhorrent to us as (well as our Beer Overlords).

We condemn, in the strongest possible terms the recent and any future acts of hatred or violence.  

We encourage everyone, of legal age, to instead get a six-pack, or bottle of their favorite adult beverage and share it with some other adults.

Can anyone really hate each other after they’ve gotten loaded and slurred “I love you guys!” We think not.