The Holy Grail is a Beer Mug!

holy grail mug
holy grail mug

The above photo makes it clear.  The Holy Grail was a glorified beer mug.

Our intrepid reporter, Olaf McSpudnheimer, has spent an entire lifetime researching this topic and he has, at last, discovered the truth of the Holy Grail.

When the Knights Templar returned from the Holy Land with the Grail in the middle ages, they stopped in both Germany and Belgium, where they taught the monks the sacred art of brewing ale.  It is believed by many historians (who wish to remain anonymous) that Adolf Hitler found the Grail and drank heavily from it during his rise to power.  However, he most certainly stopped at some point, or the Nazis would never have been defeated. One of his underlings managed to smuggle the grail out of Nazi Germany to South America where he became a powerful figure in the Brazilian brewery Brahma, which eventually merged with the Antarctica Brewery, forming Ambev. In 2004 Ambev merged with the Belgian brewery Interbrew to become Inbev, who currently control the vast majority of beer brewed in the world today, including TennentsStella ArtoisBoddingtonsBeck’sStaropramenJupilerLeffeLabattHoegaardenBass, and now most recently in 2008, Anheuser-Busch!

It is further believed that the lager drank from the Grail will grant the drinker immortality and power over common men.  It’s clear that Anheuser-Busch Inbev has control of many powerful governments. Except possibly Russia, which is still controlled by the powerful Vodka cartel, and China, a country full of people who just don’t drink enough. Wielding this power will certainly cause death and destruction on a global scale as they combat the forces of the sober Muslim peoples. 

“It’s not about Oil, people, it’s about Beer!” Olaf McSpudnheimer shouted in a recent interview.  In the interview, conducted at a local brew-pub, Olaf claims to have befriended certain key persons high up in the Inbev leadership who showed him the grail and let him drink a sip of lager from it. He surreptitiously took the above photo with his cell phone camera.  He described the lager as “tasting very similar to a Stella Artois,” he told us over a pint or two of Guinness. Oddly, Mr. McSpudnheimer disappeared shortly after that interview without bothering to tell us when he would repay our kindness with the couple pints of Stout he promised.  Either the Beer Goons got him or he’s in hiding so deep even he won’t even be able to find himself.  If you see him, please don’t tell anyone.  Here’s his picture, below:

who is this guy?