Once again the Tyrant-elect of the USA has decided, in his infinite lack of wisdom, to hurt the working man. Tariffs on steel and aluminum will increase prices for everything made from those metals. Yes, this means beer cans! It will likely add thousands to the production costs for every beer producer, big and small across the land.
This action clearly shows that Trump is not working for our Beer Overlords, but against them, and also that we'd be better off if he knuckled under and did as he was told, like every president before him. The Beer Overlords control most of our lives and they do it well. In mostly benevolent fashion. Clearly, most of us prefer to live life partly under their influence than wholly at war with them. Otherwise, we wouldn't drink, would we?
Even in Montana, the small beer producers are concerned about the impact this will have on their bottom line.
OK, calm down, it was a hundred years ago. According to these guys, the US government was infiltrated by German Brewers intent on influencing the direction of the entire country.
It was World War I (Or The Great War, as it was known until WWII). and there were millions of German-born immigrants and their children living in the USA, who were obviously more interested in siding with their Fatherland than with the rest of Europe. They controlled a key commodity: Beer. Even today you will likely recognize some of the players: Pabst, Schlitz, Anheuser-Busch, Miller, and Coors. These were just some of the German-friendly brewers who were making fortunes selling beer at the time.
When America declared war on Germany, the Federal Government even seized property, including breweries viewed as being owned by German citizens (They didn't do that to any brewers who were US citizens.)
Some of these brewers even bought up newspapers and pumped out fake (Pro-German) news. They donated to campaigns of politicians who were friendly to German interests and exerted every influence they could.
Thankfully they failed and were essentially punished with Prohibition shortly thereafter.
Crazy times, but somehow strikingly familiar...
That's right, the GOP tax reform bill includes a break for smaller beer producers. The plan would cut in half the taxes on Beer, Wine and other alcohol drinks on the first 60,000 barrels produced. We read about it here.
As strange as this sounds, considering the rest of the plan, this part actually has bipartisan support. That's right, both Republicans and Democrats support this small part of the tax reform bill. Clearly, the Beer Overlords control both parties of the US Senate and Legislature. It may not be pretty, but now we know who's really in charge!
Sure the rest of the plan is a total money grab that hurts the working class, the middle class and people who simply have class in order to give huge tax breaks to the rich assholes that contribute to political candidates and parties, as well as huge multinational corporations that will almost certainly NOT use it to create new jobs. But at least we will get some nice new crafty brews out of it.
Bud has plans to send barley to mars with the intent to brew beer. Now that's planning ahead!
Of course we've been talking about how our Beer Overlords are probably already from some other planet for quite some time, so this doesn't surprise us at all. It's simply the next logical step in universal beer domination. If people are living there, beer will flow.
more details here
Apparently, since growing the barley on Mars hasn't quite been perfected, yet, they are starting out with a few runs to the International Space Station to see how well the barley will grow in a low gravity environment. Once that's worked out, it's only a matter of time before people are lined up at a dive-bar on Mars asking for a Bud.
Tecate has proven once again that beer brings people together, while hilariously trolling the Trumpling:
In light of recent events, we feel it’s important to let you all know that the Beer conspiracy is not racist. The Global Beer Industrial Complex, on which we report, is primarily a financial conspiracy. They want everyone to drink beer, wine, and/or liquor and pay for the privilege of doing so. After a few drinks, they expect you to have fun, make bad decisions, and drink some more. If they were racist in any way, they would be alienating a significant portion of the market. They even like those folks who don’t drink (most of them, anyway) because you never know when they might fall, jump, or be pushed off the proverbial wagon.
Drinking beer is usually part of a social event. Nothing brings people together better than a tasty beer, a bottle of wine, or a round of shots. People who think that their skin color, religion, or sexual orientation makes them superior to anyone else are simply wrong and for them to even think that, much less shout it in public is abhorrent to us as (well as our Beer Overlords).
We condemn, in the strongest possible terms the recent and any future acts of hatred or violence.
We encourage everyone, of legal age, to instead get a six-pack, or bottle of their favorite adult beverage and share it with some other adults.
Can anyone really hate each other after they’ve gotten loaded and slurred “I love you guys!” We think not.