conspiracy

  • The Storm Area 51 event scheduled for September was co-opted by Bud Light who presumably used the event as a cheap advertising gimmick. That's what they want us to think anyway. Since we know that the Intergalactic Beer Overlords basically control all of the known universe, it's more likely that they are under contract to provide beer to any aliens hapless enough to land on this planet.

    Sure, they made a big deal out of placing a few well-stocked coolers full of limited edition Bud Light.  What didn't make the news was that all the beer was drank. Who drank it all? They aren't telling us. What are they hiding? We know the Grays like beer. We know they are always watching over the human race, waiting until we are ripe enough to eat, maybe? It's downright insulting that they think we are being fooled by a few green cans filled with light beer. We're onto you Bud Light! We won't be silenced by anything less than a full keg of limited edition alien Bud Light beer. (Thanks for that, BTW)

    We have nothing more to say...

  • Government shutdown

    With the government shut down for a couple weeks now you are probably wondering what impact this will have on beer.

    Obviously, this will affect all the hard-working government employees, who, without paychecks, will not be able to afford as much beer as usual.  This really sucks for them because they not only have a lot of extra time on their hands, but they could all use a nice cold beer right about now.

    The other impacts are more insidious.  Firstly, new breweries are unable to get the required licenses from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB), which regulates the alcohol beverage industry, as this agency is currently shut down.  That means the new brewpub being built down the street may be unable to brew.  That means they may not even be able to open, which results in no new jobs, and possibly the loss of a few.  Even after the shutdown ends (assuming it does) there's likely to be a backlog of license requests that may take months to clear up.

    Secondly, the same government entity also approves new brews for existing breweries, so if the shutdown drags on, you can forget about seeing hip new seasonal brews in your local store.

    It's entirely likely that the Global Beer Industrial Complex has orchestrated this shutdown just to prevent new competition and possibly thin out their existing enemies (small breweries).  Just ask the Beer Overlords (if you can find them) They will certainly deny any involvement, which is a dead giveaway that they are behind it..