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Archaeologists Unearth 5,000 Year Old Brewery
Archaeologists in Egypt have recently uncovered a brewery in Abydos that produced beer for royal ceremonies. The structure dates back to the first dynasty and the reign of King Narmer, around 3100 BC. Experts estimate the beer factory could produce as much as 5,000 gallons of beer for use in burial rituals. Ancient hieroglyphics had previously indicated that beer was used in such rituals, but the brewery was never discovered until now.
Why were the ancients, all over the world so taken with beer and similar brews? Back in those days, nobody knew what bacteria and viruses were completely unknown and so they didn’t think it was a bad idea to drink the same water they bathed in or pooped and peed into. Modern understanding of microbes and their pathology is only about 350 years old. Sanitary sewers and potable water treatments took another couple of hundred years to become widely adopted. Therefore, any brewing of water (including tea, coffee, and cider, as well as beer) was likely to result in a much safer drink, than water straight from a river or stream. People who drank mostly brewed water were more likely to survive than those who did not.
Some questions that remain to be answered are “What did the ancient brews taste like?” “How strong were they?” and “Where did they rank on the IBU scale?”
Regardless of the answers to those questions, it remains clear that the Egyptian Pharaohs were among the first members of the Ancient Order of Beer Overlords (renamed in modern times to simply Beer Overlords). We’re taking this as direct evidence of the Global Beer Conspiracy, which consumes our every waking thought, except for when we are drinking a nice oatmeal stout, a nutty brown ale, a micro-brewed IPA, a lager, pilsener, or porter, or a margarita.
Beer Conspiracy Video
We're not sure who this guy is, but he's on to something.
Please spread the word. Let everyone know, but make sure they know it's a secret that nobody is supposed to know.
Oh, and be careful!
You never know who's watching you or how much beer they've had to drink, or how much you will need to drink in order to forget they exist.
The Beer Conspiracy
We believe that the Beer (and other Liquor) companies are a crucial part of the New World Order Conspiracy... probably...
They are systematically keeping the Free World drunk, or at least buzzed enough so that we won't pay attention to or worry about their other diabolical plans.
Everywhere you look, even on TV, there are ads for beer and other alcoholic drinks. Everywhere. You probably even have some beer advertising in your home. A PBR t-shirt, or a Budweiser key chain. Maybe a collection of beer steins on the mantle. You have become a part of the conspiracy that allows these huge multinational conglomerates to keep selling the only legal addictive drug in the free world (other than nicotine... and caffeine, but those are entirely different conspiracies and someone else will have to build those websites).
Alcohol kills more people each year than war! (We are Not suggesting that anyone should give up either.)
Don't get us wrong, we aren't suggesting that alcohol be banned. Prohibition didn't work in the past and it won't work any better today. We like a nice cold beer as much as the next person, but we'd rather drink our own homebrew, untouched by greedy corporate hands! (Except, of course, for when we are out of homebrew, which we usually are... because we don't actually brew any ourselves, though, we know people who do, or so they have told us.)
We present here articles of interest that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's something that doesn't smell quite right in the International Beer Industrial Complex, headquartered in Bavaria, or maybe Belgium. Read them for yourself and you decide if you are going to continue playing right into their hands when you're crying into your beer, or if it's time to take back your beer and drink it!